Are you getting the support you need to thrive?

With the right support, you’ll thrive. You can reach for your personal, professional and health goals with greater ease with the right people backing you … and, of course, with YOU backing you.  
 
But let’s take a few steps back. I often ask my clients “what does support mean to you?” This is an important first question to explore when issues of support come up. With this knowledge it then becomes easier to identify WHEN you need support, from WHOM (family, friend, colleague, professional, self) and what TYPE of support best suits you.

Let’s get clear on what support means to you

Do you know when you need support from others? Or when you need to boost your self-support? There are many types of support and support can be offered and received in different ways.
 
The types of support that my clients often identify are ...

• Physical/practical– financial, physical presence, help with chores or childcare
• Emotional support – talking it out, having a cry, hugs, knowing someone’s ‘got my back’
• Mental – information, using the rational mind to understand and problem solve  
• Spiritual support - connecting to a higher power or the higher self, intuition, gut instinct
• Energetic support – ‘clearing out’ the energetic systems of the body

 
Support may be experienced by being heard, being held, being present, being connected (to self, others and something greater), being informed.

What’s your support type?

There’s likely a common ‘type’ of support that works for you in general. For me, it’s spiritual support. When I feel connected and in-tune, I know I can take on the world!  Of course, with different situations your support needs can change. A parent struggling with young kids, for example, may appreciate help with chores or childcare over information.
 
Knowing your own support type is an incredibly powerful way help yourself and allow others to help you.
 
If you’re not sure what support is for you, start off by examining how you show support to others. Often the way we give support is how we also wish to receive it.

Support in the body

Metaphysically, support is held in the hips and back. Both the hips and the back support us to stay upright. They help us to navigate our way in the world and move forward. The hips are also about our staying power, our ability for endurance.
 
Any aches and pains in the hips and back could be your body signalling issues around support.
 
Support is also related to the Earth element in Chinese medicine, and the Stomach and Spleen channels. Earth represents giving and receiving, nourishment, stability and being grounded. The hands also represent giving and receiving and your ability to reach out and ask for support.
 
In this context, giving and receiving relates to how you support (give) and be supported (receive). Is it balanced? Is it easier to give than receive? Can you ask for help? Can you give support to yourself?

More signs you may need support

Life has its ups and downs and everyone deals with things in their own way. During challenging times, we can lose sight of our own support needs. Signs that you, or a loved one, may need extra support include:
 

• Mood changes – feeling more emotional, fragile, irritable, worried
• Feelings of overwhelm and not coping
• The ‘dark cloud’ – seeing life through a negative filter
• Lack of enjoyment from the things that used to bring joy
• Difficulty concentrating
• Consistently feeling flat or down or exhausted
• Increased physical aches and pains, digestive issues, headaches
• Changes in sleeping patterns
• Feeling ‘not quite right’

 

Who’s in your support team?

Support can come from family, friends, work colleagues, trained professionals … and let’s not forget yourself!
 
It’s really valuable to be able to identify who can support you with what so you can build your own personal support team!
 
Those in your support team will have different skills and the capacity to support you in different ways.

Asking for help – what’s stopping you?

Is it easy or difficult for you to seek support from others? If you find it challenging to reach out or can only do so when at an absolute crisis point, it’s worth examining why.
 
Beliefs on asking for support can run deep. Look at whether you see them in your family too. These are the common ones I see in clinic ...

• I don’t want to be a burden
• I should be able to handle this myself
• I don’t have anyone to ask
• I can’t rely on anyone
• There are people much worse off than me, my problems are insignificant

 
Do you delay or avoid seeking professional support because you don’t have time or money?

• I’m too busy
• I can’t afford it

 
While there is certainly validity in the time and money factors, it’s good to also be aware of if and when they become excuses and simply reinforce the deeper beliefs around support.
 
Notice your ‘negative’ beliefs around support and actively challenge them when they arise.

Self-support – is it more than just ‘treating’ yourself?

Yes. Absolutely it is.
 
‘Treat’ implies special occasions and pleasure. Self-support, on the other hand, implies consistent nourishment. It is self-support that builds resilience.
 
Shopping, eating chocolate cake or having that extra glass of wine can feel great at the time, but these do not deeply nourish and can keep you overstimulated. It is vital you know how to truly support (and not just treat) yourself.
 
The most common beliefs around self-support I see in clinic are ...

• I don’t know how to self-support
• It’s selfish
• It’s self-indulgent
• I need to look after everyone else first (others are more important than me)

 
Again, notice your ‘negative’ beliefs around support and actively challenge them when they arise.
 
Also, reframe the language you use. Is support a treat or a non-negotiable?
 
So how do you self-support? If you’re unsure, let me share some wisdom from my clients to get you going. Often, they say self-support is …

• Giving myself time and space for stillness and reflection
• Listening to myself
• Speaking kindly to myself
• Eating well and mindfully
• Moving my body everyday
• Loving myself more
• Accepting my imperfections
• Asking for help when I need it
• Having regular healing sessions with a professional

 
Self-support is a foundation of your health and wellbeing. Self-support helps you to tune into yourself, understand your needs and prioritise your self-care. Self-support also helps you know when to reach out and seek support from others.